Ugh, the milkless grownup sneezed on me and now I'm sick with some kind of monkeypox plague. The doctor weighed me (up to 8.7 kilos, or "19 pounds, 3 ounces" in bumpkin units) and heard something rattling around in my lungs, so I'm on antibiotics.
Unfortunately, this means I'll have to skip this weekend's triathlon at Hever Castle. Skeptics have remarked that I pose no real threat to current champ Karl Alexander since I can't ride a bicycle, or swim, or even walk at this point. I say you got lucky this year, Karl.
