Fellow babies, have you ever been in a situation where you felt at risk of assault, robbery or sponge bathing? You may feel helpless because you are incapable of coordinated movement and are effectively immobile. Despair no more! I have developed the martial art of "Akachando", effective against grownups and menacing stuffed toys. Accept me as your dojo master and I will teach you the secrets of powerful flailing and lightning-fast squirming. Unconvinced? Watch my devastating moves in the video below.
