It says on the bag "This is not a toy," but does the milk-bearing grownup listen? Nope. Do you have a PhD, plastic bag? Are you a tenured professor? Then keep your advice to yourself. You're a toy now.
The grownups can speculate all they want on why I love the sound of crinkling plastic. Is it because it sounds like applause and I'm an aspiring diva? Perhaps. Is it because it sounds like a roaring fire and I'm an aspiring arsonist? No comment.