Can't a boy have a giggle fit in private?
Read MoreTwenty eight weeks
I'm sure you've realized by now that I've grown far too long for kitchen sink bathing, so you can forget about scrubbing me alongside your pots and pans. I never understood your obsession with suds anyway. Our noble ancestors bathed twice annually and they seemed healthy enough. Surrender to the subtle charms of my natural infant aroma. I am too big for the sink and too small for the tub; bath time as we know it is over.
Oh, I see. Nice gadget.
Twenty seven weeks
What is the point of spoons?
Read MoreSix month selfie!
no one is seeing the raw animal magnetism I exude
Read MoreMother's day
Today, I'm told, we are supposed to celebrate the pretty grownup with milk in our lives. I'm still disputing the credit charge on the rental's collision deductible, so I can't get one of those overpriced online bouquets...
I suppose I could dress up in her favorite lime jumper and redecorate my crib in kawaii pink. That plus some adorable squeals should convey the proper sentiment.
